Who am i ?

 


Good morning, good afternoon or even good evening my fellow internet friends.There's a strong possibility none reads what i am writing but  i am doing to ! I am Gigi , i am 150 kg and i decided that i want change ! i have some health issues like thyroid , actually i removed my thyroid and i am scared to death to go to the doctor! i hate hospitals , doctors and all that jazz . You will ask why ? because i am afraid of the unknown . But thats not the important here. The important is that i want to change , i want to move on , to improve myself and maybe maybe if someone out there reads my journey and feel the same way we can travell together for a better tomorrow , with a better self. i don't want to change to match with the others . i want to change for my health , for my life! 

i am scared of change 

i am scared of my feelings and thoughts and thats why i get nervous and when i get nervous i eat ! 

So my goal here is to accept who i am , change the status of me being afraid , understand that maybe i have a disorder here and maybe this is a sickness that is time to beat her down ! 

i will win this fight !

i can win this fight , the thing is to try and understand where are you ? Can you feel it in your soul that is time to change!

do you get anxious about almost everything ? yessss!!


Do you eat like there is no tomorrow because you are anxious? yessssssss

Are you procrastinating like there is no tomorrow ? yesssssss

Are you afraid ? yesssssssssssssssssssssssss


ME TOO!


So it's time to do something about it ! Let's love , accept ourselves and tell him as many bravos as we can for even the smallest victory ! 


Here i am going to post about my day and what i am doing for myself , my thoughts , my feelings and my small victories , because maybe you need a little friend who understands exactly how do you feel . i am here ! i am with you ! 


Let's do this !



If you are still here and you are reading this i hope you are fine , i want to thank you soooo sooo much and i want to know your thoughts and feeligs , comment down below and lets get to know each other ! 

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Today

 Today it was one of the worst days ! I woke up at 2 p.m checked my weight and its 151.3 ! I feel awful! I feel fat , i feel unloved , i feel unworthy , i feel pissed with myself!  What did I do ?  I ate a little less for lunch , i drank only one glass of cola zero , i ate a fruit and now in the afternoon i cooked something like pancakes not exactly , it was milk , flour in the mixture and i cooked it with a little bit of oil and i ate them with a little honey and a fruit. I am drinking ny my coffee. I did a little stretching because i think that if I try hardcore training I won't survive it !!! Hahaha and then i did some exercises with weights for my arms and abs for 5 minutes. Do i feel better? Not so much but I feel a little better because i am trying for me! Although the night is still young!  I am trying! I am fighting with myself and the evil me inside me ! 
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Everyday won't be easy!

Everyday won't be the same and it won't be easy! You will fail , you will eat more, you will what you weren't supposed to eat you will awful and you will feel angry and ugly with yourself! Well, you are not! I failed again! I ate every stupid thing i could find! I got my period! I ate Garbages ! I feel ugly and unworthy! Am i ?  Am i what my brain says to me right now? What my hormones say to me right now?  Did you say bravo to yourself today?  Bravo for not eating the whole chocolate?  Bravo for walking instead of taking the car for the small ride ?  Bravo for eating the apple instead of the chocolate Bravo for drinking more water today than yesterday I will say this for you  BRAVO! 
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