THE JOURNEY TO CHANGE

 Today it was one of the worst days ! I woke up at 2 p.m checked my weight and its 151.3 ! I feel awful! I feel fat , i feel unloved , i feel unworthy , i feel pissed with myself!  What did I do ?  I ate a little less for lunch , i drank only one glass of cola zero , i ate a fruit and now in the afternoon i cooked something like pancakes not exactly , it was milk , flour in the mixture and i cooked it with a little bit of oil and i ate them with a little honey and a fruit. I am drinking ny my coffee. I did a little stretching because i think that if I try hardcore training I won't survive it !!! Hahaha and then i did some exercises with weights for my arms and abs for 5 minutes. Do i feel better? Not so much but I feel a little better because i am trying for me! Although the night is still young!  I am trying! I am fighting with myself and the evil me inside me ! 

  Good morning, good afternoon or even good evening my fellow internet friends.There's a strong possibility none reads what i am writing but  i am doing to ! I am Gigi , i am 150 kg and i decided that i want change ! i have some health issues like thyroid , actually i removed my thyroid and i am scared to death to go to the doctor! i hate hospitals , doctors and all that jazz . You will ask why ? because i am afraid of the unknown . But thats not the important here. The important is that i want to change , i want to move on , to improve myself and maybe maybe if someone out there reads my journey and feel the same way we can travell together for a better tomorrow , with a better self. i don't want to change to match with the others . i want to change for my health , for my life!  i am scared of change  i am scared of my feelings and thoughts and thats why i get nervous and when i get nervous i eat !  So my goal here is to accept who i am , change the status of me being afraid ,